The “It Gets Better” campaign on YouTube features many videos by “real people” who’ve experienced discrimination, teasing, bullying, and worse, because they were gay (or were perceived as being gay). The campaign was started by Dan Savage (a political commentator and advice columnist), but many others have joined in.  The importance of the message is certainly reinforced by several recent suicides by young adults, including the tragic suicide of a Rutgers student (whose private same-sex encounter was secretly captured by webcam and streamed live by his roommate).

In the headline, I wrote “for gay teens,” but it’s not just gay teens.  Many of the teens who are taunted with “gay insults” are completely heterosexual, and many are still uncertain about their sexual orientation.

How does it get better? Some folks will tell you it got better when they “left” (moved out of a community where they felt oppressed). Others realize that bullies and other “haters” are suffering their own demons, and it’s not about the “victim” being gay, but about the bully’s own personal issues (which often turn out to be repressed sexual feelings). Some folks say it gets better once you’ve “come out” as gay, which removes uncertainty and often brings acceptance from those who you’d least expect it from (but sometimes brings rejection from others whom you’ve leaned on).

The public nature of these videos means you won’t see feedback from others who “stay in the closet,” but I wish there were a way we could hear from those folks, too, because I know that things get better for them, too.

It’s okay to be gay. It’s also okay if you’re not sure about your sexual orientation (or your gender orientation). It’s okay to be bisexual. It’s okay to stay in the closet; it’s also okay to come out of the closet; and it’s even okay to “come out” to some people but not others. (And hey, it’s also okay to be “straight.”)

Watch some of the YouTube videos, and if you still don’t think “it will get better,” then watch some more.

And talk to someone. And then talk to someone else. If you don’t want to discuss this with your friends or family, there are other options , including telephone lifelines, anonymous internet chat rooms, and much more:

• The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

• PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays)

• Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (glsen.org)

• Three Words for Gay Teens: “It Gets Better” (NPR)
  

Make the right decision: Live.

Our local event is at Moreau Catholic High School in Hayward, from 10am Saturday morning to 10am Sunday morning).  Members of each team take turns walking on a track for the entire 24 hours.

There are lots of family-friendly activities, as well as ceremonies to remember and celebrate those who’ve suffered from cancer, and to “fight back” against cancer.

This is our third year as participants. Unfortunately, in the past year, two more in our extended family have been diagnosed with cancer.

Here are ways you can support the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life:

(1) Donate to support our team: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY10CA?team_id=713404&pg=team&fr_id=20413

(2) Come attend our local “Relay for Life” 24-hour event next Saturday and Sunday, June 5-6, 2008 at Moreau Catholic High School in Hayward, California. We’ll be at the event for more than the entire 24 hours (10am to 10am), but we welcome anyone who chooses to attend, even if it’s just for an hour or two.

(3) Attend the Relay for Life event in your local community: http://www.relayforlife.org/relay/findevent